There are 4 little words that can change your entire life.
“I changed my mind”.
There I was, an eight year old girl sitting at my school desk. I was staring at my teacher with wide and unsure eyes. The question wasn’t hard. Or at least it wasn’t supposed to be.
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
This was a serious question. It wasn’t a “What’s your favorite color” kind of question. It was the real deal.
I knew the answer. I realized at a very young age that I wanted to be a Mom. Nothing else mattered. I just wanted a daughter and I wanted to be a MOTHER!
Plain and simple!
From that moment on, that was my go to answer when I was asked the notorious, “What do you want to be when you grow up” question. A Mom.
It seems the world compels us to make some serious choices at a really young age. This was me at 8, but as I grew older there were more and more questions tossed my way.
I know this is normal. Think about how many questions you were expected to “know” before you actually knew what you wanted.
What do you want to be when you grow up? Do you want to go to college (and if you do where do you want to go)? Do you want to get married? How many kids do you want? Where do you want to live? Will you have your children at a hospital or at home? What is your birth plan? Will you breastfeed, vaccinate, co-sleep or even go back to work after the baby is born?
Holy moly! That’s a lot of questions to be answered! It’s no wonder we feel like failures when we want to change our minds.
It feels problematic and confusing to change our minds.
But, Oh my word, there’s so much freedom in claiming the truth that it IS OK TO CHANGE OUR MIND!
We are not feeble or frail just because we decide that being a stay at home mom isn’t for us. And we surely aren’t weak when breastfeeding just didn’t work out.
The guilt that resides over us like dark lingering clouds is real, sister! I know that shame you feel! I’ve been there!
I felt like I was giving up just because I had changed my mind!
Remember that 8 year old that ONLY wanted to be a mom? Well fast forward 24 years and things didn’t look the same or feel the same as I “thought” they would. I desperately wanted to go back to work. I wanted to change my mind but I clung onto that 8 year old me’s version of what life “should” look like. I was guilt ridden and overly blanketed in embarrassment.
I clung to those feelings like an old favorite sweater. It had holes and was thinning and yet I wore those convictions around because they were comfortable! It’s what I knew and what I had always known for countless years. I completely owned the conviction I was having.
And, friends, even though my whole heart was telling me that I’d probably be a better mom if I went back to work and allowed myself grace to navigate through the transition, I let the idea that change was the same as failure dictate who I was!
This just isn’t true. It’s not even remotely factual.
Sure it feels indecisive. It feels like we lack consistency. It feels like we are a mess and don’t have it all together. I get it! BUT…listen to this next part with an open heart:
It takes AUDACITY and COURAGE to turn around and declare that you may have made a mistake or heaven forbid you don’t want what you once did.
I don’t believe this anymore. I don’t want to do this exercise program anymore. I actually do want to pursue this career. I want to change careers. I want to home school now. I want to put my child in daycare. I just don’t believe what I used to.
Whatever decision you have changed your mind on, friend, I want to tell you that it takes bravery, strength and humility to make that shift!
We should be CELEBRATING these characteristics in people, not shaming them. When we experience life in certain ways and we discover new things about ourselves and the world, IT IS OK TO CHANGE OUR MIND!
It’s called LIFE.
It’s called GROWTH.
It’s called ADULTING.
And it’s worth APPLAUDING!
Pause for a moment and pray hard about what is significant in your life.
Go ahead, Jesus is listening. HE ALWAYS IS!
Girlfriend, I hope you walk away from this article with full support to stop, look into the mirror and ask yourself what it is you genuinely want in this life and, sister, go change your stinking mind!