I am that woman.
I am the woman that feels like I have to justify taking care of myself. We have this in common.
I mean, most likely you feel like this too… feeling like taking care of basic things is almost unnecessary. Hang tight, stay with me and allow me give you a few examples because I’m NOT talking about bathing or eating..I’m talking about these things:
- Alone time
- Saying “no thanks” to extra activities
- Or how about taking a break (maybe its a nap or maybe its just taking that lunch break you deserve at work).
Who’s with me? Who else
“never has the time”
“just too tired”?
Why is it so tough to claim things for ourselves? I started asking myself why it was so hard to just take care of myself?
I ALWAYS had a response to simple things that needed no explanation at all..like
“I had to take a 20 minute nap because I was up late doing laundry”
“I had to go to lunch because I didn’t have any breakfast today”
I could never just TAKE CARE OF MYSELF without permission or an excuse. It was draining to say the least. Not only was I not taking care of myself, but I was constantly fighting myself!
A Light Bulb Went Off
I’ll never forget the day I actually decided to go to counseling. It was before I had kids…actually, I had just graduated college. I had had enough.
I was in my car crying my eyes out (most likely due to not enough sleep or over exerting myself with too many activities). I don’t remember exactly why I was overwhelmed with anxiety…but I was surely borrowing a few worries from my future.
I threw my head back and closed my eyes and began talking to myself. I just blurted out my worries and divulged personal and very intimate secrets about things I had zero answers to.
Looking back I think I may have been half praying and half talking to myself. I do remember clearly longing for an answer..I desired a voice to talk back to me.
A light bulb went off..I needed someone to help me sort out my feelings…to help me sort out my “why’s” and my “how’s”! At that moment I knew I wasn’t emotionally taking care of myself.
Feeling Guilty For Not Being “Able” to Figure it Out Myself
Well, along with that light bulb that went off, a feeling of guilt washed over me. How can I go to counseling? Isn’t counseling for really wounded people (No it’s not, by the way)…also full disclosure I have my fair share of baggage that needed to be unpacked, so there’s that.
Anyhow, I felt a little confused as to why I craved the need to talk to someone. I felt guilty for not being able to figure it out for myself. I legitimately felt like if I went to counseling it made me a weak human being and I felt like it actually measured my ability and independence.
I didn’t even see the fact that going to counseling was a form of taking care of myself.
I’m happy to report that I did indeed make an appointment to talk to a counselor. I battled those emotions like a champ! I chose a Christian therapist, and boy, did it help me beyond any guilt that I had projected on the idea of going in the first place.
Since then I have changed counselors a few times depending on my needs and I still go if I feel like I need it. There are things that I could have probably figured out on my own, but dang it, counseling helped me figure things out faster and surely gave me better tools to cope with my mess.
There are so many reasons counseling has helped me and can help you too. So don’t feel guilty for being human and having very human emotions!
Reason’s Counseling can Help
- It can enlighten you in new ways to think about situations that bother you.
- It can help you cope with emotions you might be wrestling with, such as anger, anxiety, sadness, loneliness etc… because no one is immune to these common emotions!
- It can help you understand why your mind works the way it does (no, nothing’s wrong with you!).
- It can help you make positive changes in your life by giving you tools to achieve your best life.
Encouragement for You
In an effort to encourage you, I want to give you permission to take care of yourself. If you feel like counseling is for you, research it and choose one that fits your lifestyle and preference.
I want to also tell you that counseling has truly made me realize that counselors are just people that God has invited into my story to help me navigate hard things and has helped me unpack some jumbled baggage that
I had zero clue what to do with (basically, it was cluttering up my mind and spirit!). Woo, what a relief it had been to empty out my emotion filled “mind bin”! Be courageous and take the leap to what could be the start to healing, or the resolve you’ve longed for, or maybe even just a sound ear for your feelings!
You are brave and you are strong enough to step out into what could change your life, like it did for me, forever! Go take care of yourself, sister!