I’m in an odd place of motherhood. I’m missing those baby faces and to be honest, their faces are changing faster than I’d like to see. I’m sad and I’m happy all at the same time.
There isn’t a lot of material about existing in this space. And sometimes it’s hard and sometimes it’s lonely.
The days of making cute toddler snacks and fun preschool gift bags for class parties are practically over. It feels like that weird in between spot our hair gets to sometimes. You know what I’m talking about. It’s not quite shoulder length but you want to get it grown out. It does this weird flippy thing and just isn’t really the style you want. Yep, that’s the stage of motherhood I’m in.
As I sit here writing these words, I realize it feels a little like a motherhood purgatory. An existence that looks like this:
Scouring through Target looking for things to bring back that body my hair once had.
Confused by the acne my face has so generously provided me with as an adult.
Baffled by the “kids” at the front desk of the gym I attend calling me Ma’am.
Wondering how many times I can wear the same leggings without people noticing.
Truthfully, the list goes on and on, but you get the point. You may even be in this middle crazy space yourself. You may be nodding your head and saying, “yeah girl, I totally get it!”.
So, this middle motherhood place of existence is not glamorous, but it is necessary. It’s a mandatory phase that many of you are in alongside me. I know this because I see you.
I see you at the mall standing in the juniors’ section holding up those half shirts wondering where the rest of the material went.
I see you searching Target for “adult acne” face washes, which the marketing team has successfully taken advantage of because it seems there is an entire aisle dedicated to us in between mamas! See we aren’t alone!
I see you walking your kids into school, which looks more like you are following behind them because they are independent now. They can walk themselves and they have blatantly told you so. I mean, quite frankly, it’s embarrassing to have their mom hold their hand and kiss them goodbye (insert a huge huff and puff and an even bigger eye roll).
I see you feeling ignored by your kids now that they are older…but holy cow, you still matter!
And that, sisters, is exactly what I want to tell you today! I’ve said it to the postpartum induced new moms and I’m going to say it to the mundane feeling stage of middle motherhood: YOU MATTER!
You matter so much! and You are so enough!
It may feel lonely, unsatisfying and draining…but you are enough. You are so dang much enough! I know that doesn’t make much sense, but let me clearly break it down for you:
If you feel lost in this middle space, let’s look at it like this.
Not only are you enough, but you are a constant stability for your kids. They need you. They need you, no matter how dull it feels. This is where you are and this is why you are enough! At the end of the day they need YOU!
You are their mother.
You are the one advocating for them to their teachers.
You are the one praying hard for their friendships and for their days to be smooth.
You are the one helping them with their science projects.
You are the one downloading the tracking app to your phone to make sure they are safe.
You are the one who is loving them through each and every attitude and all too familiar “uh huh” responses.
They need YOU, their mom! And maybe their way of telling you they need you isn’t the same as it used to be. Maybe it isn’t cute little leg hugs or sweet and generous kisses. Perhaps it’s silence or that frustrating door slam. But you still love them. You still advocate for them. You still track them.
And they still need you. I promise you they do!
Rest assure and be proud.
Proud of the mom you are.
Proud of the way your kids will always rely on you.
Proud of the fact that Jesus called you to undeniably be their mom. You were chosen!
These middle years of motherhood may not feel fancy, but THEY MATTER SO SO MUCH! YOU MATTER!
You are making a difference in their lives. You are proving to them they can call you when they need to later in life.
You are proving you will always love them no matter what.
You are proving to them that they matter too. They matter enough for you to keep going through this in between stage of being a mom.
I want you to know you aren’t the only mom feeling like your efforts don’t matter. You’re not alone in your feelings.
We have to keep going. Keep praying for our ever-growing kids. Keep loving them through their pre-teen and teenage attitudes. Keep being there for them no matter what.
So, from one crazy and unpredictable in between stage of motherhood mama to another, WE ALL MATTER!
I hope this leaves you knowing how much you are needed and how much you truly matter in this space!